


Askr needs help

by FrostHatchet



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Crack, F/M, I Don't Even Know, Robin appears again!, So is Peri, funny fire emblem, henry is insane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28185801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostHatchet/pseuds/FrostHatchet
Summary: Henry is a funy guy and finds a partner to hang out with while filling the cemeteries with copious amounts of, well, you know what.  Peri is also there and they do it together (Wait no not that kind ew get your head out of a gutter you weeb). Enjoy!  (please end me)
Relationships: Henry/Peri
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Askr needs help

**Author's Note:**

> On-time! (barely). Don't bully me.

“What do you mean? Dismemberment is so much fun! Wait, where are you going?” A terrified woman ran in the other direction as Henry’s unbreakable smile grew even wider. 

“Why does everyone hate killing? It’s my favorite hobby! Maybe people here just aren’t cool. So much for the order of heroes.” He strutted down the roads of Askr as everyone gave him a wide berth. 

He pointed his finger guns and the crowd scattered like ants before Henry’s terrifying and yet powerful weapons of mass. 

He laughed and lamented that he was under orders to not kill the other heroes. He shrugged.   
“This is a close second, doncha think, Qrow?” The crow on his shoulder, named Qrow, cawed once. 

“Ah, what do you know, you clown?” He scoffed and flew away. Henry shrugged it off and kept walking. He should really renegotiate his deal with Odin about using crows instead of ravens. He shook it off as Robin approached. 

“Hiya Robin! Care to join the ranks of my feathered friends? Nya heh heh!” Robin recoiled and smiled uneasily and waved his hand. 

“H-Hey Henry. Listen, I’ve been getting some complaints about your, uh, behavior.” Henry looked at Robin and laughed. 

“What behavior? Is killing going to be legal again? Can I get a license? A license?” Robin shook his head and Henry’s smile wilted. 

“It’s about the whole killing people thing actually. Remember when I told you that the Order of Heroes were good people? You shouldn’t threaten them with dismemberment like that. Can’t you contain your homicidal tendencies until you face the enemy?” 

Henry shook his head and grinned. 

“I know, but it’s not fun killing the enemies by myself. Since I don’t have to travel very far to kill people, I’m running out of ways to kill people now. I’m just asking for people to join me in my quest for brutal kills, but nobody will accompany me! It’s very annoying.” 

Robin sighed and they remained silent for a little while. Then Robin gasped and grabbed Henry’s shoulder. 

“You’re looking for someone to hang out with and kill stuff with, right? Well, I think I got a solution.” Henry looked at Robin with a gleeful glint in his eyes. At least Robin hoped it was glee. He shuddered. 

“Head for the far side of town. There’s a prince who needs to be relieved of a slight problem. He has to deal-, no, he has a special situation going on over there. Why don’t you head over there, and see what’s what?” 

“Sure! I’ll head over there right now!” Henry ran past his tactician and the crowd fled before him again. Robin facepalmed and groaned, for that was the necessary reaction for anyone who dealt with Henry. 

While Henry was running to the spot Robin described, Qrow flew back and cawed twice. 

“Hey, buddy! Good ta see ya again! Maybe I’ll have someone to talk to instead of you! Wouldn't that be great? They might even talk back!” Qrow almost seemed to scoff at these words and flew on ahead of his master. 

Once he got far enough out of town, he saw the people Robin mentioned. There was a knight who seemed to be yelling at a young woman who was splattered in blood. She was grinning at the pile of animal corpses that lay behind her. 

“This is the last time Peri! You can’t keep killing things anytime you wish! You need to learn to respect life for the true purpose it leads. You have to treat others the way you would like to be treated.” 

“I am! Aren’t I the sweetest?” She stood on her tippy toes and poked the prince’s nose. 

“I GIVE UP!!!” He walked over to his horse and cantered out of the city’s center. Henry walked over to the homicidal stranger and did what anyone in their right mind would do. 

“Hiya friend! I was just passing through and I heard you talking to that princling. They can be such a pain huh?” She looked over at him and smiled while the blood dripped off her cheeks. 

“Yeah! Xander is a huge sweetie, but he can kinda crash my fun sometimes. Leaders of nations are real party poopers huh?” She pouted and sat on the ground. Henry joined her. 

“Yeah, tell me about it. It’s like nobody wants to kill stuff with me anymore. We’re freaking soldiers! Why is wanting to kill everything bad?” She gasped and seized Henry’s shoulders. 

“You’re right! We’re soldiers, so killing everything is okay! I don’t see why anyone else doesn’t see it that way.” Henry chuckled and looked at the ground. 

“So why did you kill a bunch of harmless animals? Isn't it more fun to kill soldiers so it’s a little more challenging and risky?” The girl laughed as her multi-colored hair shimmered in the moonlight. It’s unnatural colors cast eerie shadows on the ground around her. Henry almost thought it was magic. 

“I wish I could, but Xander never lets me kill stuff anymore. Ever since we moved into this stupid Order of Heroes, we never go out on sprees anymore. I miss them so much, but there’s nobody that’ll go with me here!” 

Henry had just gotten an idea, and whenever Henry got an idea, he started it before his brain had finished thinking it through. 

“How about we team up and go on sprees? It’ll be super duper fun, I promise!” She looked up at him and said,

“Really? You’d do that for me?” He nodded and she shrieked, spinning him around in circles. Henry laughed almost maniacally as they twirled around the pile of corpses. 

“This is so cool! I can’t wait to get started! We should go now, while the sun has yet to rise! The best enemies are always out at nighttime!” She jumped onto the saddle of her horse and ye-hawed into the distance. 

Henry sighed as he watched her go and Qrow flew onto his shoulder. He called inquiringly at the dark mage. Henry chuckled. 

“I think we found someone more insane than I am. I reckon she’s a keeper. Waddya say Qrow?” Qrow nuzzled his finger and Henry laughed. 

“Well, I guess it’s time to purge!” He ran off into the moonlight to follow his new maniac girlfriend, screaming yay death all the way there. No one was left to see the light of day.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I guess since exams are done I'll have more time to write huh? We'll see about that. Until next time AO3, I will not miss you.


End file.
